Have you ever wondered why you battle to control your emotions, feel constantly anxious, or can’t get rid of the sensation that something in your life is “off”? If so, you’re not alone. For many of us, the events we went through as children—especially the difficult, complex stuff—can have long-lasting effects that manifest themselves in surprising ways. These patterns frequently result from what’s known as childhood complex trauma; and they don’t indicate that you are damaged or defective.
Childhood complex trauma results from long-term stress, anxiety, or neglect during your formative years. Even if we might believe we’ve moved past those events, they often follow us into adulthood and shape our beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, and thinking. Let’s investigate seven typical ways childhood complex trauma affects us and, most importantly, what you can do to begin healing.
1. You’re Always on Edge (Chronic Anxiety and Hypervigilance)
Does it feel as though your brain’s “alert system” is caught in hyperdrive? Even though everything’s actually fine, you find yourself constantly scanning for danger. Perhaps it’s racing thoughts, trouble unwinding, or the sense that something terrible’s about to happen. Though the threat’s no longer present, in childhood your body used this hypervigilance to try to keep you safe.
2. Big Emotions Feel Overwhelming (Emotional Dysregulation)
You’re holding it together one minute; the next you find yourself overwhelmed by uncontrollably strong emotions. Alternatively, you might shut down totally and feel numb or cut off from the events around you. These swings indicate that your emotional system was overwhelmed early on and is still struggling to regain equilibrium; they’re not to be considered a sign of weakness.
3. Stress Takes a Toll on Your Body (Chronic Stress and Inflammation)
Trauma lives in your body as much as it does in your mind. Constant activation of your stress response can cause problems including chronic fatigue, persistent pain, or even diseases such as autoimmune disorders. This could explain why if you’ve ever felt as though your body is working against you.
4. You Struggle to Feel “Good Enough” (Identity and Self-Concept Issues)
Do you sometimes feel not-enough—not smart enough, competent enough, lovable enough? Trauma in childhood can leave one with a deep sense of shame or self-doubt. You could find yourself wondering, “What’s wrong with me,” or feeling as though you constantly have to prove your worth. Though they can be draining, these emotions have nothing to do with who you are; they’re derived from what you went through.
5. Relationships Are a Challenge (Attachment and Relationship Difficulties)
Trusting others could feel risky or dangerous. Perhaps you keep people at a distance to guard yourself or, on the other hand, maybe you find yourself uneasy and clingy in relationships out of fear they’ll fall apart. These tendencies usually follow from how safe and supported you felt as a child. If your connections back then felt insecure or unsafe, it’s likely making partnerships difficult today.
6. Coping Mechanisms Take Over (Behavioral Dysregulation)
It’s normal to reach for something to help take the edge off unpleasant emotions or memories. These coping strategies—alcohol, overindulgence in food, shopping, or constant phone scrolling—can feel like life-saving devices when life gets tough. But over time, they can create their own difficulties and keep you mired in a difficult-to-break cycle.
7. It’s Hard to Stay Present (Dissociation and Depersonalization)
Sometimes you feel as though you’re observing your life pass from the sidelines. There’s a sense that you’re not really here. Perhaps you quickly lose track of time, or space out in conversations. Your brain uses dissociation to protect you from becoming overwhelmed, but it can also cause you to feel cut off from your own life.
These Patterns Aren’t Permanent—Healing Is Possible
The fact is none of this indicates you’re somehow broken. These patterns represent your mind and body’s means of adjusting to early overwhelming experiences. They performed their intended goal as your survival equipment. But right now they could be holding you back.
The good news is that you can begin to change these patterns. Though it’s a journey, healing is one worth traveling. Practices including mindfulness, light exercise, and body awareness can help you strike equilibrium and feel more anchored. Support groups and therapy can offer a safe environment where one can investigate these effects and cultivate fresh approaches toward living.
Take One Small Step Toward Healing
Should this list speak to you, consider this. Today, what one tiny action could help you take care of yourself? Perhaps it’s scheduling five minutes to journal, practice deep breathing, or contact someone you know you trust.
Trauma healing is about learning to understand and care for yourself in fresh ways, not about fixing you. Already a significant advance is your presence here, reading this. Keep going; you’re deserving of it.
Interested in learning more about healing and recovery? Look through our other pieces for useful resources and ideas to support you on your path.