While some difficult childhood events leave long-lasting scars, not every one of them do. ACEs, short for adverse childhood experiences, are among these. These are the situations or circumstances that could undermine the foundation of your early years, sometimes in ways that follow you long beyond childhood.
Understanding ACEs helps us to make sense of how our history might be impacting our present—like putting together bits of a puzzle. So let’s explore what ACEs are, how they manifest themselves, and why they’re important.
What Exactly Are Adverse Childhood Experiences?
Adverse Childhood Experiences reflect events that are terrifying or highly stressful occurring before you turn eighteen. These are the kinds of things that can disrupt a child’s feeling of love, stability, and safety.
The truth is, though, ACEs are not always what you might anticipate. Some are large, clear incidents like witnessing violence or experiencing neglect. Others are more subtle; they’re the experiences of those who grow up in a family where affection seems conditional, or where nobody ever spoke about their feelings.
Big or little, these events can make a difference. That’s why they’re important.
Examples of Adverse Childhood Experiences
ACEs fall into two main categories: the big and conspicuous, and the subtle and sly.
Big and Conspicuous ACEs:
Most people agree that these are the kinds of events that are immediately damaging:
- Abuse: Sexual, emotional, or physical.
- Neglect: Not having food, safety, or emotional care met.
- Household dysfunction: Growing up with a parent who battles mental illness, addiction, or incarceration—or living in a house rife with ongoing strife.
Subtle and Sly ACEs:
Though more difficult to spot, these can be equally as damaging:
- Emotional invalidation: Growing up feeling as if your emotions were ignored or unimportant.
- Conditional love: Feeling as though you have to be flawless or accomplish something to “earn” love and approval.
- Parentification: Being compelled, while still a child, to assume adult duties such sibling care or housekeeping.
- Chronic criticism: Constant being told you weren’t clever enough, competent enough, or good enough.
How ACEs and Trauma Are Connected
ACEs are essentially the events or circumstances themselves—that is, what happens to you. Trauma, then, is your own, internal reaction to those circumstances.
Trauma does not follow every negative encounter. Two children may grow up in the same stressful surroundings, for instance, yet their experiences could have completely different effects on them. While one battles anxiety, trust problems, or low self-esteem for years, the other could feel practically unscathed.
Why the difference? One’s response to ACEs are dictated by:
- Your age at the time of the experience.
- Whether it was a one-time event or something spanning years.
- Whether you felt completely unsupported or had help from a caring adult.
An ACE can become trauma when it overwhelms your capacity for coping.
Why ACEs Count Later in Life
ACEs are difficult since their effects don’t usually show up straight away. They can persist, gently influencing our perceptions of ourselves, our handling of relationships, and even our body’s reaction to stress.
Studies reveal that ACEs are connected to many sorts of adult problems, including:
- Issues with mental health including addiction, depression, or anxiety.
- Long-term physical disorders including autoimmune diseases, diabetes, and heart disease.
- Challenges in creating safe, trusting relationships.
The good news is that the impacts of ACEs are not inevitable. Though they shape your path, they do not define it. Making changes and healing start with understanding how these events influence you.
ACEs vs. Childhood Complex Trauma
You may be wondering: what distinguishes ACEs from childhood complex trauma?
See it this way:
- ACEs are the experiences—that is, the events or situations themselves.
- Childhood complex trauma reflects the results or impacts of repeated or ongoing events or situations, especially in context of intimate relationships, It’s the profound and long-lasting effect of feeling unsafe or unsupported during pivotal years of growth.
Thus, even though not every ACE results in trauma, they usually go hand in hand.
Why This Matters
Understanding adverse childhood experiences isn’t about assigning blame or pointing fingers at the past. It’s about acknowledging that you have the ability to move forward, and making sense of the ways your early life might still be impacting you now.
Although these events could fit your narrative, they don’t have to define your future.
Our next piece will explore the different forms of trauma and its manifestations in our life in more depth. Stay tuned.