Alcoholism, or addiction, is like a disease that just shows up out of nowhere. So you may have heard in Alcoholics Anonymous or other recovery circles. Everything’s fine one day; then, you’re fighting an overwhelming need to drink or use. It seems to be some sort of invisible force sneaking up on you. Although this viewpoint can be useful for newcomers, it also leaves out a crucial piece of the puzzle: why does addiction start in the first place? What pushes someone to the brink where they lose control over their substance use?
The Tipping Point
Let’s discuss what I like to call “the tipping point.” It’s not as though someone wakes up one morning and finds they are an addict. Instead, there is a slow, virtually invisible change across time. For many, it begins with using drugs in what seems like a reasonable manner—perhaps to blend in socially or to relax following a demanding day. For some, though, this “normal” use begins to seem more like a need, a need that we’re not even aware of, than a decision. That marks the turning point: from something you do to something you require.
And why exactly does this occur? Most of the time, it’s more about what that chemical is doing for you emotionally than about its actual effects. It’s either numbing emotional suffering, quieting the mind, or even momentarily making life seem manageable. Self-medication is the use of drugs or alcohol to control something deeper than surface level internal conflict.
Personal Experience: Realizing Something Deeper
For me, this insight occurred after more than seven years of attending AA meetings. The program was and continues to be useful in my efforts to stay sober. But when I went through the steps, I noticed something odd. While others seemed to be experiencing significant transformations and relief, I wasn’t. I repeated the steps several times, expecting that each following time would be different. But again and again there was little change. Something didn’t click.
It was after my fourth time through the steps when I realized there might be something more serious going on in my case. I took a break from meetings and began doing my own research and internal work. Over time, I came to realize that my childhood experiences were far more damaging than I had previously assumed. I also learned that childhood trauma was a principle driver of addiction. It wasn’t just the drinking or the drugs; it was the agony from my past that I was attempting to suppress. Now with over 16 years of sobriety, I recently returned to the rooms after an eight year hiatus. But I’m approaching AA’s program from a different perspective, one that recognizes both its attributes, and its limitations.
Four Foundational Elements of Addiction
Today, when we discuss addiction, there are essentially four primary elements involved:
- Spiritual Malady: The idea known as a spiritual malady holds that the core of addiction is a form of spiritual emptiness or separation. It’s that feeling of being lost, of searching for something to fill a void that nothing seems to satisfy.
- Disease Model: The venerable AA viewpoint. Addiction is thought of as a chronic, persistent condition either present or absent in you. While this model can help to remove the moral component from the equation, it does not explain why someone initially develops addiction.
- Learned Behavior: For some, addiction is something they take up from their surroundings—perhaps from growing up amid heavy drinking or drug use, or from utilizing drugs as a learned coping mechanism for the demands of life.
- Self-Medication: For most, the major one is self-medication. It’s a way of managing emotional suffering, stress, anxiety, or trauma by using substances. It’s more about attempting to escape or numb what’s inside than about chasing a high.
Though for most people self-medication is the main driver, all four of these elements contribute to addiction. When we are in pain—especially the deep, relentless sort brought on by unresolved trauma—we almost naturally grasp for something, anything, to bring that anguish to rest.
The Role of Childhood Complex Trauma
This leads to a crucial concept: childhood complex trauma. For many of us the suffering we’re attempting to control with substances didn’t arise in adulthood. It’s been with us for a very long time, often since childhood. Deep scars result from events such neglect, abuse, or growing up in chaotic, unpredictable surroundings. These early scars might define our whole life and cause inner conflict which we find impossible to escape.
When the agony of these early events becomes intolerable, we search for means of coping, for ways to make it go away, even if just momentarily. This is where substances enter the picture. They provide a brief haven, a means of numbing the agony and quieting the mind. But that fleeting retreat can become something considerably more devastating with time. It can become another type of prison.
A Holistic View of Addiction
What then does all this imply about understanding addiction? Addiction is not an illness that strikes out of nowhere. Usually stemming from deep, unresolved grief, it is a complicated interaction of elements. It’s about more than just the substance itself—it’s about what the substance is doing for us.
Recognizing this can create new avenues for healing. Rather than concentrating only on the behavior—that of drinking or using—we might begin to explore what lies beneath it. What agonies are we trying to numb? From what memories or emotions are we seeking to flee? And rather than merely treating the symptoms, how might we begin to mend those wounds?
Conclusion
Addiction does not strike from nowhere. More often it’s a reaction to trauma and deep-rooted suffering. Understanding this can be a powerful first step toward healing. By looking beyond the surface and tackling the underlying drivers of addiction, we can begin to create a life rich in genuine serenity and connection rather than merely being free from drugs or booze.
Though not an easy journey, it’s one worth traveling. It begins with being willing to look a little bit deeper, to probe the difficult questions, and boldly face whatever we find. Because the real healing happens not through addressing the addiction itself, but when we address the pain that resides underneath it.