Ever had one of those days when your heart races nonstop and you have no idea why? Or maybe you find yourself spiraling out from something that seems little and absolutely controllable to everyone else. Alternatively you might just feel flat, as though you’re not really here. To exacerbate things, you then start asking: “What the hell is wrong with me?”
Should any of them ring true, you’re not broken. If you have a history of childhood trauma, particularly the complex sort, this is most certainly one of the fundamental ways it’s showing up in your life now. You’re probably dealing with something called regulation disruptions.
Let’s discuss it.
So What Is a Regulation Disruption?
Simply said, it means your system—your mind, your body, your emotions—has trouble remaining balanced and consistent. When something demanding occurs—or even just might happen—your whole internal world shifts into high gear or shuts down entirely.
Regulation enables you to react to life in a harmonic balance. “Okay, that was intense, but we’re okay now,” your nervous system responds.
On the other hand, what if your upbringing seemed chaotic, frightening, neglectful, or emotionally unpredictable? You most certainly didn’t get an opportunity to develop that kind of inner stability. Rather, your body learned to be always on-guard. Alternatively to shut down and disappear. Or even to swing both back and forth between the two.
Your internal “thermostat” is essentially out of whack. And you’re not at fault.
What It Looks Like in Real Life
Regulation disruptions go beyond simple panic attacks or major breakdowns. Though occasionally loud, most of the time they are subtle—that is, it’s barely noticeable how much they’re influencing your daily life.
Here’s what it could look like:
- You’re always a little uptight. Your shoulders live right next to your ears. Your jaw is tightly clenched. You have knots in your stomach.
- You overreact to events, then feel humiliated or embarrassed later.
- You under-respond to events and question why you feel so numb.
- You’re emotions are either completely MIA or flooding you.
- You’re not at peace. You cannot relax. Though it seems impossible, you try to unwind.
- Sleep sucks. Either you collapse yet wake up feeling like you never rested, or you cannot get to sleep in the first place.
- You get “snappy” then slide into guilt.
- You seem to be constantly bracing for impact, even in the absence of any obvious threats.
Any of them speak to you? indeed. That’s what we’re talking about here.
Why This Is the Big One
Among all the fundamental impacts of childhood complex trauma, regulation disruptions are the most pivotal and profound. Everything else gets tougher when your system loses control.
- Your thoughts get mired in confusion. You doubt yourself. Catastrophizing becomes default. (Identity & Cognitive Disturbances)
- Relationships either seem dangerous or overwhelming. Either you cling too tightly or shut people out. (Attachment and Relational Disturbances)
- To cope, you turn to food, work, drugs, control, or numbing practices. (Patterns of Behaviorful Coping)
- Your body remains in stress mode, which can cause discomfort, fatigue, digestive problems, inflammation—you name it. (Physical and energetic dysfunctions)
Regulation is like the foundation of a home. Should it shatter, everything on top of it becomes unstable.
But Here’s the Truth: This Isn’t Your Fault
If your upbringing required you to remain constantly aware of the emotions of other people…
If you had to suppress your feelings in order to avoid being screamed at, disciplined, or ignored?
If you never felt sufficiently safe to simply exist…
Your nervous system took the necessary action to ensure your survival.
How you handle stress right now? It’s not a flaw. It’s the imprint of how you survived.
Still, survival’s not the same as living. The positive news is that these patterns are malleable. Maybe not immediately. Neither by use of willpower. But progressively, gently, through practices designed to teach your system what safety feels like—perhaps for the first time.
Why This Is the Place to Start Healing
Everyone wants to get into repairing relationships or eliminating self-sabotage or restoring their body. I get it. It’s absolutely legitimate. If regulation’s off, though, it’s like trying to build a house during an earthquake. Underneath you the ground keeps shifting.
Starting with regulation—even a small amount—helps everything else seem more doable.
Practices like:
- Learning to breathe in a way that truly soothes your system, not only fills your lungs.
- Gently moving your body to release tension and increase awareness.
- Establishing habits and rituals to enable your system to know what to expect.
- Learning to observe your inner state without allowing it to overwhelm you.
Though they seem little or basic, these habits have great power. They enable your system to regain equilibrium. And the more your body discovers that you are safe, the more space opens up for everything else: clearer thinking, better relationships, firmer boundaries, better sleep, less anxiety.
If This Hit Home, You’re Not Alone
For survivors of childhood complex trauma, regulation disruptions are quite common. If you relate to this post, know that you’re not broken. Your system is still operating in the way it was taught, but it can learn something new.
We’ll explore how to start working with regulation disruptions—slowly, gently, and in ways that won’t overwhelm you—in future posts. There’s no pushing or need to force anything. All you have to do is start.
One breath. One moment. One slow step at a time.
You’ve begun already. Keep going.