Everybody’s gone through difficult circumstances—times when life seemed like too much to manage. Perhaps it was a terrible breakup, a terrifying accident, or a result of total neglect when you most needed support. We sometimes move past these events and carry on. But other times something changes within us. This is when we’re venturing into trauma’s domain.
Let’s dissect it; this thing called trauma.
Trauma: It’s About the Impact, Not the Event
Trauma’s not the event that happens to you. It’s how your body, mind, and emotions react when something feels too much for you to handle. It’s what you experience within, not just what occurred to you.
Two people might go through an identical incident, say, an automobile collision. While one feels nervous every time they get behind the wheel thereafter, the other could bounce back without missing a beat. The difference is in how each person processes what happened, it’s not a reflection of strength or toughness.
Trauma manifests when an event pushes you beyond your capacity to cope, to adapt. And the difficult part? It can sneak in even in what appear to be the most ordinary of circumstances.
What Causes Trauma?
An adverse experience—that is, something we experience as distressing or overwhelming—often sets off trauma. Depending on the circumstances, these events can seem quite different.
- The Big and Obvious Stuff: Consider major accidents, natural disasters, or losing someone close to you. These are the events we usually recognize as potentially traumatizing.
- The Subtle and Sneaky Stuff: Trauma can also result from things more difficult to notice. Perhaps you grew up believing your emotions didn’t matter, or that you had to be flawless to win love or approval.
The key is not so much about the event itself; it’s about how the event affects you personally. Trauma results from an encounter that leaves one feeling powerless, or as if it’s simply too much to manage.
How Does Trauma Show Up?
Trauma’s not only something you carry about in your memories. It shows up in your thoughts, feelings, even physical responses—often years or even decades later.
- Emotionally: You may feel depressed, anxious, or constantly on edge.
- Physically: Trauma can physically disrupt your digestion, sleep, and even lead to headaches or muscular tension.
- Behaviorally: Perhaps you choose to keep people at arms length, avoid certain places, or find yourself snapping at loved ones.
- In Relationships: Trauma can cause one to feel disconnected, or mistrust people in general.
It’s common for people to be unable to recognize that these reactions are connected to something they’ve gone through, to some past experience. Trauma is incredibly elusive; it lurks in plain sight.
Trauma Isn’t Weakness—It’s Your Body Trying to Help
Remember this: Trauma doesn’t define you as weak or damaged. In reality, it’s the reverse. Trauma is your body and brain’s attempt to protect you from injury.
Consider it an alert system. Your brain turns on its safety switch when something overwhelming occurs. Still, that alert sometimes gets caught in the on position—even long after the threat has passed. It’s at this point trauma starts to shape your life permanently.
Why Understanding Trauma Matters
Trauma is not a one-size-fits-all concept. Depending on their experiences, it can manifest itself in several ways and have varied effects on individuals. While some trauma results from a single catastrophic occurrence, other types grow over time—particularly in relationships or stressful surroundings.
Understanding what trauma is—and recognizing the different ways it can manifest itself—helps you make sense of the links between your past and how it’s now influencing your life. It’s the first step toward finding a means of healing and regaining control.
We’ll discuss the several forms of trauma in a future post, so you can get a better handle on what you or someone you care about might be going through.
What’s Next?
Trauma isn’t something that occurs in a vacuum; it usually relates to certain specific events or experiences. Our next post will look at the kind of events that might cause trauma. Some of them may surprise you.
Right now, inhale deeply and know this: Healing is possible and you are not alone.